mary sue parody
by Pyeralhera
Summary: BLATANT MARY SUES! ALL FEAR MARY SUES!


AN: this story started off with a dream my best friend had a while back, so if it seems weird that is why, um this is a mock Mary sue chapter

Disclaimer: um anything Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling, anything Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, we only own ourselves and the plot such as it is. Mild nudity (this version, NC-17 version on AFF) some drug references, Swearing, Sex related humor, and some violence.

Ron, Sirius, and Charlie were standing around in the kitchen discussing what they saw to days ago. "Remus Got laid" Ron yelled. "It's not really all that surprising" Sirius said with a laugh. "Huh" Ron said. "He's gotten laid more times then James and I combined" Sirius said seriously. "Some men are damn lucky" Charlie said with some jealousy.

Silph and Remus entered the Food place and heard Charlie's response. "Luck had nothing to do with it" Remus said with a smirk. "I know a friend who has a friend who has a thing for red headed studs who work with dragons in Romania" Silph said with a wink. Everyone looked stoned trying to figure out what she said. "Translation please?" Ron asked flustered. "In other words my friend is the last wolf demon in the world and is in need of a good, strong, dominant male" Charlie just blushed a red to match his hair. "I'll give my friend a call tomorrow" Silph said with a chuckle.

---------------------------------------------------------- (scene change for those who don't

Know)

The next morning in the Sirius mums room Silph and Remus sat. "You know me being a male 'wolf and you being a female 'wolf this isn't easy," Remus muttered.

Silph growls "The wolf in you respects me don't try to control it." Speaking low now, "Close your eyes. Picture yourself in a forest, the wolfs territory, let the wolf come to you. Do not fear it, accept it." Remus opens his eyes, they are wolfs eyes. Silph smiles and leans forward to kiss him.

"Do you see your senses have gained, your eyes are wolfs now. Now close your eyes again and focus on your human eye color. They will change back.

Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Harry are standing in the hall. "So is Remus getting laid again?" Ron asked.

Ginny retorted, "Ron you are a moron, honestly."

Hermione looking through the keyhole, "Ron shut up about that. Remus has accepted the wolf. His eyes turned. Maybe next time they'll let us in."

"I doubt they'll let Ron in though." Harry smirked, as he placed an arm around Hermione's shoulders.

Ron yelped "hey!"

Later Remus and Silph got ready for they're mission. Silph was on the phone "Hey Fiona, How's the Pack? No I didn't mean gum………Great. I met a stud wolf here named Remus Lupin. Also I met a stud you might like, his name is Charles Weasley, he has red hair, BIG muscles," Remus growled "and he works with Dragons in Romania……. No he's not Romanian, I'll hand the phone to him, K See ya"

"Charles talk to her"

-----------------------------------------(Pyeral: "All shallfear thedotted lines!")

IN America Do as Americans do (Hera: Act Ignorant)

Fiona stood in the clearing overlooking the pups as they were working on transfiguring rocks into flowers. So far none of them were getting the hang of it. 'When is Silph getting back' Fiona thought with a hint of irritation creeping into her mental voice.

Fiona was broken out of her reverie when she felt a small hand tug on her spring robes. She looked down and saw a nervous looking girl hold a yellow rose up to her. Fiona smiled down at her in a reassuring way and took the thornless rose and brought it up to her nose and sniffed it. It had a light and airy fragrance "That was an excellent job Amanda" Fiona said in praise "Class that is enough for today, but keep working on it tonight" Fiona said dismissing the class who went back to their houses.

Fiona then sat down and started to meditate. About a couple hours later her cell phone started ringing, bringing her back into this atmosphere. "Hello Hi Silph… Gum?... oh the wolf pack, sorry was meditating, the pack is fine, everything is still in one piece…… that's great its about time you found a mate…. Is he cute, oh that's a plus…. Sounds wicked…alright Bye…… Hi" Fiona greeted into the phone. "Um…er..hi," Charlie greeted back. "So you have BIG muscles?" Fiona asked in a flirtatious way. Charlie choked "Um yeah I guess" ten seconds later "Oh yeah I'm big" Charlie said back in a flirtatious way. "That's good because I like BIG men who work with dragons, and need a strong mate" They then lapsed into a conversation for at least an hour. (Hera: no not Phone Sex)

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In London #12 Grimmwald Place

"Filth, Half-breeds, Mud bloods, Traitors!" Mrs. Black screeched.

"Oy, Sirius!" Silph yelled, "How much do you want to get rid of that picture!"

"I don't care what Mrs. Weasley says. I'll blast the damn wall!" Sirius snarled.

"I'll do the next best thing. Have everyone take down the portraits throughout the house." Silph responded. Ten minutes later Silph stood in front of Mrs. Black with a sly smile. Shifting to hybrid form Silph leapt and tore at the tapestry. Remus joined her. Within minutes there was nothing more then shreds and broken frame left.

Silph (human again) "Hey Sirius you should start working on a new tapestry, where saving that for Fiona. As for these scraps pick up what you can and toss them into a fire place.

A little later as Silph and Remus headed out for their mission.

Phineas smiled "Thanks for getting rid of that old bat."

"Anytime" Silph responded.

Silph and Remus roamed (in wolf form).

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" A girl screamed.

Silph instinct kicked in and she ran towards the scream. Turning down an ally she skidded to a stop at the sight of a large man with rangy and matted grey hair. He had black robes. Near by was a young girl holding her arm. Remus snarled as he recognized the 'wolf.

The 'wolf growled "What! Werewolves'! But the full moons two day away."

Silph returned to normal and glared, "I am an alpha from the states. We would like to know what going on." The 'wolf snarled then turned and fled.

Silph knelt in front of the girl and smiled, "Are you alright?"

" My arm, he bit me" the girl sobbed. "Let me see." Silph ordered. As Silph looked, the girl asked, 'Are like him' "No. We are 'Wolves but we are not beasts like him. The wolfs teeth had pierced skin. Silph used a spell to heal the wound tough a scar remained.

"Remus head back to base, let them know what happened." Turning back to the girl. "What is your name?" Silph asked.

"Meria." She responded.

"My name is Silph. Little one that man turned you. There is no cure for any 'wolf. If you are willing I can teach you how to live with the wolf. The only other choice is to become like that man. Do you understand?" Meria nodded.

"Come."


End file.
